I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell (Bonus Stories) by Tucker Max

Author:Tucker Max [Max, Tucker]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2011-01-12T02:25:44.265000+00:00

am no better than the slob...then it hit me. The most obvious solution in the world, I cannot believe I've never thought of it before: Me.

I waited until most of the plane filled up, saw that there were three empty seats in first class, summoned the Tucker Max A-game charm, and

approached a young female flight attendant in the back cabin:

Tucker "Hey, how are you?"

FA "Hi, good."

Tucker "I really hate to bother you about this, but can you possibly help me out?"

FA "Yeah, what can I do for you?"

Tucker "Well, when my people booked my flight, they made a mistake and put me in coach. I hate to make an issue about this, but is there any way you can put me in first class? Normally I would just live with it, but I've already had a few people pestering me for autographs and what not...and I just can't get anything done back here with everyone trying to get a piece of me. I'm sure you know how it is. I can't be the first famous person you've had this happen to."

FA "Oh my gosh, yeah, no problem. Hold on, let me just make sure we have room, I'll upgrade you right away. Stay right here."

Three minutes later I was in first class, throwing back free beer and putting complimentary slippers on my feet. No one "bothered" me the rest of the flight, and none of the flight attendants even asked who I

"was."

I keep trying to tell you people: Take command of your destiny, and karma will conspire to help you along the way.

After a few beers, I notice the guy sitting next to me. He is a few years older than me, mid-thirties, clean cut, wearing normal clothes...and has a huge bulge on his hip. Well, he's not black so it can't be his dick--this motherfucker is packing a gun.

Tucker "I hope to god you are an Air Marshal, because if you aren't,

[motioning to his piece] this is going to be quite a flight."

Guy "I'm not an Air Marshal."

Tucker [long pause] "Uhhhh..."

Guy [he kinda laughs at me] "Don't worry, I'm in the FBI. I'm off duty but we are required to carry our sidearm with us on planes whenever we fly."

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